I love the new place, and I'm so excited to be there. I finally feel safe to come home, which is something I can't say I'd ever felt at my old apartment. There've been many moments since Saturday where I've randomly broken out into a big grin- when I hear the sound of children playing outside the kitchen window, when I'm strolling home after dinner and see families walking home as well, when I drink water that comes from a special filtered tap, when the small market around the corner sells Kleenex (which I'd begun to think didn't exist here because of my inability to find it in ANY of the stores in my old neighborhood.)
I'm unpacking, settling in, and have never been so excited to bust out a mop and vacuum and get to cleaning.
But this hasn't come without its cost, unfortunately. I had been in the process of making arrangments to, in short, pay the bribe and move to a safer neighborhood when my friend offered to let me stay in her family's apartment. My host parents knew I was moving, but my host sister was out of town at the time all of these decisions were made. My host parents then left to go to the dacha for the weekend, so no one was around as I was packing up to move out. My host sister came back home literally as I was struggling to get my bags out the door, and she was pissed. "Why didn't you say anything?" I tried to explain that this had happened yesterday, that she wasn't home, I was sorry. She just said "Ok," went into the apartment, and slammed the door behind her. I still hope my host family doesn't think it was their fault... My Russian is limited, my host sister's English is better than my Russian but also quite limited, and so much gets lost in translation. In any case, despite my best intentions, I think I managed to burn that bridge rather thoroughly, and I understand that any action I take while abroad is something I do as "Katie," but as the "amerikanka."
Meanwhile, I asked my program director to refund me the housing fee for the rest of the summer. It seemed like a fairly straightforward request. You wanted 90 euros a week for me to live with a host family. I'm not living with a host family any more, so I should get the 630 euros (90 per week for the next 7 weeks) back. My director, of course, tells me this "isn't possible." (As an aside, it really irks me when people tell me "I can't" or "it's not possible," when the situation is in fact "I don't want to" or "I won't." Taking personal responsibility is hard sometimes, but it's the classy way to go.) So let me get this straight.... I get put into the slums, so I ask to move. I prepare to pay a bribe in order to do so. A better option comes along, and I decide to take it... and then the director wants to pocket nearly 800 dollars after playing fast and loose with my personal safety? Where is the Better Business Bureau when you need it? I am so angry that I hope the man never approaches me personally since it would take an incredible amount of effort not to scream at him. If you know me well at all, you know that is not my way of dealing with people. The only thing that is keeping me civil is the fact that everything was prepaid, and if I piss him off too much there's no way to get any of that money back. I hope this situation is somehow resolved quickly. Anger is such a toxic emotion, and to be consumed by it feels like having a bit of my positive-thinking smiling Californian soul eaten away.
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